Posts Tagged ‘new year’s resolutions’

Every year around this time, I do a couple of things. I make a list of resolutions that I fully intend to ignore. And I review my favorite blogs. This year, I’m having a hard time with both. It isn’t that I don’t want to improve my condition with some common sense guideposts or that I don’t read my favorite blogs. It’s just that other things weigh on my mind. For instance, when el Gavo disappears into the bowels of SACTO, who will we have to kick around? I mean, everyone needs a political punching bag, but California’s Lieutenant Governor has few if any official duties to screw up. However, the Gov Lite is the Vice Executive of the state. Maybe there’s hope after all.

Okay, I’ll start with my resolutions for 2011 and then work on my list of blogs later. Let’s see, in 2011, I resolve to…

  • Watch more television
  • Eat more crappy food
  • Complain more
  • Visit Wasilla AK for a visual tour of Siberia
  • Punch a life-sized cutout of Barack Obama
  • Kick a little old lady in the solar plexus
  • Alienate several faithful friends
  • Rewrite the U.S. Constitution
  • Start smoking again and flick ashes on buffet food
  • Secede from the United Nations

Hmmmm. On reflection, I may need a new list. This reads like the job description of a politician.


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My Ten Resolutions for Twenty Ten

1. Use the phrase Twenty Ten as often as possible. I like the sight and sound of it when I say it out loud.

2. Continue posting sporadically because my mind is still too screwed up for regularity.

3. Neither write nor say negatives about people. My old aunt used to tell me, “Unless you can say something good about others, keep quiet.” A rule that is hard to follow in every instance, but worth the effort.

4. Read more books about cowboys.

5. Write at least one positive post about Sarah Palin. I may have to hire a ghost writer for this one. But, then, she has nice legs.

6. Figure out how much detergent to pour in the washing machine to avoid flooding the floor of the laundry room with suds.

7. Maybe hire a housekeeper. I say maybe because this is still a little bit iffy. A cook would be better. I’m sick and tired of cold Vienna Sausage.

8. Tell my neighbor, who is a police officer, how much I appreciate her help and thoughtfulness after my wife’s passing.

9. Sell my house so I can move on; perhaps find a new life somewhere. This will be very difficult, but I need to try.

10. Maybe teach again. Another hard goal to achieve. I have lost patience with students who perceive college as a place of encounter rather than as an arena for learning.

Okey, dokey. I’ve shown you mine. Now show me yours.

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