Archive for the ‘Paris Hilton’ Category

I’m watching a special report about China and the Olympics on one of those generic 24/7 news channels. This “Breaking News” report is about the smog over Beijing. Will it affect the performance of our athletes?

The reporter sounded like smog in Beijing is a new phenomenon, as if smog is a uniquely American condition, one of the many elements of uniqueness about us that adds to our bragging rights.

“We’ve got smog,” I can almost hear President Dense remark to Hu Jintao when he first meets the President of China. “You’ve only got human rights violations.”

“My smog is smoggier than your smog,” Jin Tao will retort.

“Is not.”

“Is, too.”

Global politics as played by the big boys.

I have news for Dense and his followers. Smog has been around in Asia for a long time. And oddly, the Chinese use it as a marker of their modernization vis a vis the United States.

A friend of mine, a Chinese guy from Beijing, a very intelligent, affable, and outgoing guy, used to brag about Beijing’s smog. Once he remarked, “We have more than LA.” Note that he said LA instead of Los Angeles. He knew American idioms better than me.

Other large Asian cities aren’t virgin territory, either. I have in mind Tokyo, Taipei, Manila, and, yes, Naha, Okinawa. I’ve flown into each of these cities and a few more, and as we approached, I had the impression of a giant cloud of green flies hovering over the entire region.

Americans probably have no inkling that other countries are befouling the atmosphere, too. We are not alone, just one of the crowd, another indicator of America’s industrial decline.

Yes, the smog in Beijing is sure to affect the performance of every athlete at the games. If half of the intake of a human lung is granules of soot, a 50-yard dash becomes an ordeal.

Frankly, I’d like to see a 50-yard sprint between Dense and Paris Hilton.

Let the games begin.


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The latest sociological defect in America is Charisma Fatigue. If this is anything like metal fatigue, we may shortly witness the collapse of Western Civilization.

Charisma Fatigue emerged recently in an editorial about Obama’s perceived tendency to assume that he already occupies the Oval Office. According to the writer, Americans are growing weary of Obama’s hubris (do they really know what the word means?)

Philip Gailey of the St. Petersburg Florida Times has written about the phenomenon beneath an editorial headed Obama, you’re not the president yet.

According to Gailey, Obama is acting like a president to an extent never before witnessed in American politics. Gailey presented several pieces of evidence for his statement. Here are just a few. The remaining years of my functional life aren’t sufficient to cover the balance.

Obama will assume the official mantle of Democratic Candidate for President on August 28, 2008 (my wife’s and my anniversary), in a 75,000-seat football stadium in Denver. A regular convention hall isn’t worthy of Baracks ego.

In his recent trip to the Middle East and Europe, heads of state and generals lined up to adore him in the manner of the Roman Caesars. Then, he imperially arranged, among other things, a personal briefing by the chairman of the Federal Reserve Board.

Obama  also renamed his campaign plane O-Force One, and has begun planning for a transition to the White House. 

Meanwhile, McCain has also tried looking presidential with a weekly radio program and his own version of a triumphant visit to the Middle East.

At the same time, McCain’s campaign continues to flail around with one specious accusation after another against Obama. Obama is elitist, He’s a celebrity. He’s bubble-headed like Britney and Paris, and on and on.

The Paris fiasco backfired when Paris’s mother objected to McCain’s  characterization of Paris as bubble-headed and demanded the return of a hefty contribution she made to his campaign.

Whether or not Obama eventually becomes the actual President of the United States remains to be determined. However, rather than smearing him with accusations that he is the cause of Charisma Fatigue among Americans, we ought to remember that we are now governed by an absentee president.

Perhaps the greatest fatigue of all is a country that has drifted rudderless over the oceans of international diplomacy for more than seven years. It’s time for a president capable of multi-tasking. Bush is incapable of it, and McCain has chosen to follow Bush’s uni-task approach. Better we suffer from Charisma Fatigue than die of inertia.

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    “Why isn’t he like us, Daddy?”

  • “Well, son, he’s just different, that’s all. It’s kind of hard to explain, but here are some things:
  • He doesn’t wear an American flag lapel pin
  • He doesn’t stand for the National Anthem
  • He’s a Muslim
  • He attended a Muslim school
  • His name is Hussein
  • His name isn’t Anglo-Saxon
  • He’s arrogant
  • He drinks wine
  • He draws super big crowds
  • He’s a celebrity like Paris and Britney
  • He’s too fit
  • “What does he look like, Daddy?”

    “Here’s a picture of him, son.”


“You’re right, daddy. He’ll never be like us.”


Top: Google Clip Art
Bottom: Barack Obama.net

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Yesterday, this site’s hit meter went out of sight,

I wonder why? Could it be that the main post, Sex with Aunty Em, included the word “sex?” Could it be that the title could have been “Sex with a Baboon” or “Sex with a Freshly-Shelled Walnut” and worked just as well? Naw. No one cares about sex. Everyone wants to read about politics.

If you believe that, I have a large body of water in the Sierras straddling the California and Nevada borders for sale.

Since opening this site in April 2007, we’ve categorized our posts under several headings—politics, power, current events, Bay Area Communities, Demographics, humor, war, sex, scandals, Paris Hilton, and more, too many to list here. I’ll give you three guesses which of these draws the most visitors.

Hint: Nancy Pelosi. “Tee hee,” as my best friend would say. Nancy drew about two clicks and one of those was apparently from a congenital Pelosi watcher who proceeded to rip her to shreds. Seems all of the political heat originates somewhere to the right of center on the Lib-Con line.

The seeming lack of political temperature in the L quadrant may mean bad news for the Democrats if the Republicans manage to get a measure on the ballot to change California’s method of counting presidential electoral votes. Now, if someone introduced a proposal to require naked pages in the State Assembly, the L’s would come out of the woodworks.

Do C’s have sex? Below the radar they just might. SFist points out that the man behind the “Create a Republican World” ballot initiative was once sued for biting a woman’s butt in a bar, whereupon he declared that she should have been flattered. A jury later flattered her to the tune of $25,000. Is that the kind of man we want running California? Hmmmmm.

My point here is that Paris Hilton, et al, are necessary to the perpetuation of the blog-o-sphere, yes, but not everyone has the superstructure, beauty, and stupidity to become a bimbo. California, like all states, is filled with those blessed with intelligence. Where are the symmetrical and asymmetrical Mensa members when the L’s need them?

By the way, we fully intend to continue our policy of mixing sex and politics. Remember these words:

To everything there is a season
A time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die.

A time for sex and a time for politics.

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If you’re into the sex scene, you probably know Emily Morse. Otherwise the name may escape you.

She’s the host of a podcast called Sex with Emily on 106.9 FM Saturday nights from 11 p.m.-2 a.m. She’s sort of the modern version of Sue Johnson, Canada’s premier sex conversationalist and counselor we see on Oxygen TV. Only, Emily Morse is younger and better looking. No insult, Sue. That’s just a law of life—people get old. Emily hasn’t reached that stage yet.

According to IMDB, the movie database, Emily acted in the movie I am a Sex Addict and co-produced and co-directed the movie See How They Run. I am a Sex Addict was scheduled for a television showing on TMC, Wednesday, September 26, 2007, at 3:05 a.m., an un-Godly hour if ever there was one.

The more interesting film, though, is See How They Run. According to IMDB, this is a behind-the-scenes look at a “showdown” between Mayor Willie Brown and supervisor Tom Ammiano. The cast of characters reads like a who’s who of San Francisco’s political elite: Willie Brown, Jerry Brown, Diane Feinstein, and Tom Ammiano.

No mention of His Gavness, but the cast also included a slew of celebrities: Kathie Lee Gifford, Arianna Huffington, Jesse Jackson, Bill Maher, Sean Penn, and Regis Philbin.

I haven’t watched any of her film work and probably never will. My only experience with Emily was a brief YouTube clip of one of her radio broadcasts called Emily is Visited by Three Sexy Women on Her Radio Show.

Boooring. To be perfectly honest—and this is just my own personal philosophy—it’s more fun to do it than listen to someone else talk about it or even watch someone else on film or tape. I really could not care less about Britney’s or Paris’s crotch shot.

Well, if I’m not interested in sex, why am I writing about Emily Morse? I did not say I am not interested in sex. I am very much interested in my own sex life. I’m no more interested in other people’s sex habits than I was listening to how many cheerleaders the captain of the football team banged last Friday night. Most people lie about sex anyway.

My primary interest is in the modern cultural phenomenon of young women and not-so-young women who choos careers, if you can call them that, in the sex business. Emily Morse is an example of this phenomenon. Why would a young girl with great intelligence and great promise wish to change the world one orgasm at a time? While orgasms are very pleasurable, I can’t help but wonder if somewhere along the line, they are the root cause of the 6 billion-and-counting over populated world we live in. From the angle of saving the world, it sounds like birth control would be a more fruitful social contribution as well as a promising economic activity. Combine that with the abundance of orgasms at any given moment, and you may have a winner.

Don’t get me wrong. Emily Morse is undoubtedly a nice person. It’s just that she doesn’t look like a sex pot. She looks like that kid down the block who walks past your house to high school. How can a girl pass as a sexpot when she looks so innocent? Actual innocence is something else entirely. We’re talking about appearances here.

One day, she will reach the age of Sue Johnson, the age of knowledge and reason. I’d be willing to bet Aunty Em knew more about sex than Dorothy.

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This month’s issue of Diablo Magazine carries an excellent article about Pleasanton product Paula Creamer, one of the top female golfers on the LPGA tour. With a title like Pink Powerhouse: Pleasanton’s Paula Creamer takes the golf world by storm, who could resist reading the rest of the story? Chronicle golf writer Ron Kroichick details her rise from a youngster in Pleasanton to her present status as a premier golfer and throws in a picture of Paula looking her best in pink as an added attraction. For those interested, she will appear at the October Longs Drugs Challenge in Danville.

The article drew my attention for a couple of reasons. My sister lives in Pleasanton, so every time the name of the town pops up, I think about her. I’m fairly familiar with the area and many of the towns nearby—Livermore, Dublin, San Ramon Village, Danville, Alamo, Walnut Creek, Pleasant Hill, and others along the 680 corridor and California 24.

Plus, I watch a good deal of women’s golf on television. These young women are not only beautiful but also physically skilled, dedicated to their craft, disciplined, and mature beyond their chronological ages. These successful young women contrast starkly with the likes of Britney, Paris, Lindsey and a few San Francisco treats.

Another East Bay Magazine on my regular perusing list is Oakland Magazine. This is a life-style publication but it has more than just pretty pictures of well-decorated rooms. The current issue includes an excellent article about Oakland’s burgeoning market in livable warehouse lofts. If you are someone whose children are grown and gone and you are tired of maintaining the perfect lawn and leaf-free swimming pool, you may be interested in checking out this issue. One recurring feature in Oakland Magazine is its Snapshots section, with a series of photos of happenings in the Bay Area. The shots in this issue are about Asian Health Services.

Oakland is another East Bay community I’m familiar with. We once lived there and one of my buddies today is a guy who graduated from Oakland Tech and then Berkeley where he was a varsity tennis player. That’s not the interesting part of his life, though. By day his dad was a bookkeeper for Standard Oil but led a second life as a jazz pianist in the evenings and on the weekends when he used to play small clubs up and down the San Joaquin Valley.

The world is full of interesting people and sometimes we may even know a few. Check out these magazines. Something in one of them may remind you of an interesting person you know.

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Everything and everyone is disgusting these days. The following comment is merely one sign of our degree of disgust.

“She’s a total, raging, disgusting, rich, lazy party slut. I pray that my daughter will not turn out like her.”

Who is he talking about?

Paris Hilton.

But who is this man who characterizes a Hollywood icon as disgusting? None other than Foo Fighter Dave Grohl. Oh, well.

Then we had disgusting bathroom revelations. People simply aren’t washing their hands in public restrooms anymore after performing the tasks public restrooms are set aside for, like propositioning undercover cops. I’ve got news for those who study public restroom behavior. I’ve never met a man who washed afterward. Men dip the ends of a couple of fingers under the water and quickly reach for a towel.

And of course we all know about The Donald and his “disgusting” comment about Rosie. No need to go into that here.

Now we have the Disguster in chief. He is disgusted by a Moveon.org ad that referred to General Petraeus as “General Betray Us.” The general recently briefed a congressional committee on U.S. progress in Iraq, and MoveOn.org suggests quite strongly that he fudged his figures.

All of a sudden, every Republican in the universe is disgusted. And a funny thing happened on the way to the forum. A slew of Democrats were disgusted as well. Most of the Democrats in the Senate joined the Republicans in uninanimously voting “Yes” on a “Sense of the Senate” resolution condemning MoveOn.org.

To the credit of California’s Barbara Boxer, she introduced a resolution condemning Republican attacks on Senators John Kerry and quadriplegic former Senator Max Cleland for their lack of patriotism. Her amendment failed.

In the meantime, the air is filled with a lot of disgusting static. Will anything in D.C. change? Not unless the Democratic Party figures out a coherent strategy for countering Rove’s genius (you don’t think Bush thinks this stuff up, do you?) and sticks to it.

Disgusting: loathsome, sickening, nauseous, repulsive, revolting, repugnant, abhorrent, detestable

Excuse me. I’ve got to find the nearest public restroom and regurgitate. I just caught a whiff of an ill wind out of D.C.

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