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Archive for July, 2007

All of a sudden, the blogs and news sites are filled with Alex and Ruby. Take a look at these two. They are the best:

Fog City Journal. A personal account of Alex’s grand opening complete with lots of pictures. Looks like every important person in the Newsom administration attended. I’m beginning to think Alex still strongly supports Newsom’s reelection. Poor old Ruby. Alex and Gavie popular as ever while shes exists in a sort of bloggers’ twilight zone. One thing in her favor–maybe. Her friend, Emily Morse, attended and was pictured standing next to Alex. He had his arm around her in a rather affectionate way. She can at least give Ruby a rundown on people and happenings minus the hug.

San Francisco Bay Guardian (SFBG). An interesting article by Sarah Phelan headed “Why Did Gavin and Ruby Have Sex?” My take? Sex just plain old feels good and the more we have the better we feel.

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Today’s Honolulu Advertiser carried a column by Peter Boylan headed “Fame $$$, good looks—so what?” The title alone caught my eye so I read the whole thing to find out what this guy was talking about.

Imagine my pleasant surprise to discover that he wrote about things I’ve puzzled over for years.

He opened by describing the hullabaloo over David Beckham, who just signed a contract to play soccer with the Los Angeles Galaxy. Beckham has appeared on the cover of several magazines and is widely touted as soccer’s answer to Barry Bonds.

Boylan’s response to the public’s adoration of Beckham–Who gives a Spice!

Spice is a reference to a vocal group that has pretty well passed from the cool scene. Beckham is married to a former Spice girl.

Here is Boylan’s money quote:

“Beckham is another one of those guys whom women fawn over because they are rich, famous and supposedly, good-looking.

“My gripe: Those three attributes also apparently absolve all transgressions and behavioral flaws.”

Holy Schiese, Bratman! Is he talking about Gavie Nusie? Does this columnist from Honolulu have a direct line to SF politics?

Here’s Nudie, a guy whose deceit and betrayal have been a matter of public record since February 1, 2007, and rumored for months if not years before then.

Now, the guy enjoys a 70%-plus approval rating and is certain to be reelected in November. Still, residents of SF absolve him of all sins. What gives? Is their forgiveness because, in Boylan’s words, he is “rich, famous, and supposedly good-looking.”

Sure, SF’ers rationalize their approval. Yes, he made a mistake. We all make mistakes.

True. We all make mistakes. But not many make THAT mistake. Newsie is in a rather small group when it comes to THAT.

So, he’s an exception. So what? Don’t confuse my pre-conceived emotions with facts. He may be a Vanity Fair centerfold, but he’s our really, really, really good looking Vanity Fair centerfold. Even Kimberley admires his equipment. You can’t argue with a babe that good looking, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Thus, we hereby, in full possession of our hedonistic faculties, vote to absolve him of any and all past, present, and future transgressions. We said it. We’re right. That’s it.

Ah, cynicism

Anyway, Boylan’s article has a heck of a lot more interesting observations on the human condition. Check it out. You’ll like it. If you’re a woman, you’ll find some insights into the male brain. If you’re a man, you’ll identify with his viewpoints.

Unless you’re rich, famous, and good looking.

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We need a rehab program with strenuous interventions for talking heads addicted to asking stupid questions and politicians addicted to solemnly answering them.

In case you haven’t noticed, some of the questions are so dumb even a caveman could come up with them. Others are dumber still, requiring the skills of a squid, And at the bottom of the dumb barrel, we have the dumbest questions in the universe of dumb questions coming from the fertile gristle of the fabled “American people” politicians are so fond of evoking.

Here’s the latest of the dumbest of the dumb questions from the recent Democratic presidential candidates’ debate. “How would you, Senator Obama, respond to the criticism that you aren’t black enough, and you, Senator Clinton, to the criticism you aren’t feminine enough?”

My, Gawd!!!! This is breathtaking!!! But it isn’t the most breathtaking part of the debate. Both Senators Obama and Clinton actually responded in their most senatorial manner. I mean, they were so serious my heart almost bled for them until sanity swept over me and I started laughing so hard my skintight Hanes briefs fell off.

Just once, I’d like to hear a politician respond honestly, like this: “That question is so dumb it doesn’t deserve a reply. I refuse to lend my good name to its idiocy. If anyone believes I ought to answer the question, please vote for my opponent. On Election Day, I want only intelligent people voting for me. And if you, Mr. Moderator, ask another stupid question, I’ll walk out of this idiotic sham.”

I’ve observed something like this only once. In a debate between Bill Clinton and George Bush the Elder, Clinton responded to a statement (don’t remember the subject of it) from an audience member with this observation: “If you believe that, vote for George Bush.”

At those words, Bush’s head snapped around like a fish hooked by a snagger and looked at Clinton who ignored him. I’m probably the only one besides Bush who caught Clinton’s message.

Political debate in this country has become nothing more than a showcase for stupidity. Maybe that’s natural. Voters claim to vote the issues, but in truth, they are more likely to mark a ballot for many other reasons, not the least of which is high emotion and a candidate’s appearance.

I’m reminded of an idea for a cartoon I once dreamed up. A middle-aged couple sits in their living room discussing politics. For want of more descriptive names, I called them Mr. and Mrs. Balloonhead. Their conversation goes something like this.

  • Mrs. B: Who are you voting for this year, Dear?
  • Mr. B: I’m undecided, Dear.
  • Mrs. B: Who are you undecided in favor of, Dear?

In my mind, that’s a pretty apt summarization of American voting patterns. The seriously undecided voter is a rapidly disappearing figure.

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I’ve noticed a new buzz phrase finding its way into the media lately. I call it the “fill in the blank” excuse. The following example illustrates how it goes:

A highly-popular professional football player is arrested for his involvement in the illegal and cruel activity some call dog fighting. When asked how they felt about the matter, many members of the public and the player’s teammates offered the fill-in-the blank response.

“His job is to win football games.”
“Our job is to win football games.”

The subtext below these statements is simple: whatever he did is okay as long as he wins games.

I wondered when I heard these responses if it’s okay to (murder someone) (beat the hell out of your wife) (fry your kid in a microwave oven) (toss a dog out of a speeding car in heavy traffic) (all of these) (none of these) as long as he wins games.

Where do we draw the line when it comes to celebrities, sports figures, politicians? Does anything go as long as they do their jobs? It seems so. In Los Angeles and San Francisco it apparently doesn’t bother many people if their mayors run women through their offices like units on an assembly line.

It doesn’t seem to bother too many Republicans, either. Their hero of the moment in the presidential primaries, Rudy Giuliani, has had an extended run through three highly visible sex scandals during his tenure in public office.

Although the current emphasis on “doing their job” doesn’t surprise me, it is puzzling to say the least. It speaks directly to a collapse of morality, civility, and good order in society, not to mention the amount of public monies expended when government officials get caught with their pants down.

I am puzzled that the American public isn’t concerned that an elected official is admittedly guilty of lying, deceit, and betrayal. How can any individual with those tendencies “do his/her job?”

It’s your turn now to test my fill-in-the blank paradigm (love that word). Think about someone you know and make a statement like this about him/her: Yes, he/she is guilty of (fill in the blank), but it’s okay as long as he/she does the job.

See if you can think of an act beyond the bounds of acceptability, an act so egregious and disgusting that the act alone proves unfitness for the position held.

I’ll bet if the person is someone you like, you’ll find no boundaries. But if it’s someone you don’t like, no act will be permissible.

Apparently, it’s all about human nature, right? We’re all only human (I dispute that myth). What’s your take on permissiveness when it comes to the likes of Lohan, Hilton, Spears, Villagairosa, Newsom, Vick, and countless et al’s”

Have we become a nation of morally and ethically challenged but technically competent individuals?

Sunday philosophical presentation completed. Time for the serenity of the golf course.

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It’s Saturday and sports rules the air and cable waves. Right now I’m watching one of those little-known sports called “bull riding,” usually seen only by Texans, Arizonans, and other inhabitants of the Western states.

I like rodeos for a couple of reasons. Every little boy dreams about being a cowboy at one time or another in his life and more little girls than you realize aspire to be a champion barrel racer. I still want to be a cowboy.

And I like stylish rodeo-chic. Some call it Western Ranch-chic. Same thing. Boy cowboys and girl cowboys dress pretty much alike except that the girls will wear shirts with a frill here and there.

Otherwise, the styles begin with boots, handcrafted and styled to perfection. Their colors vary but women may often be found wearing a pair of powder blues studded with gemstones. The only thing more erotic than powder-blue cowgirl boots on a beautiful woman is the taste of French fries on a girl’s lips.

Of course, everyone wears skin-tight Levis accented by classic handmade belts and buckles. If anything, rodeo people, men and women, are in good shape. The barrel racing gals could pass as body doubles any day for the stringy likes of Jen Siebel or Paris Hilton.

Boys and girls both also prefer large, loose fitting shirts, usually a shade of white, always tucked in and bloused over the Levis to emphasize the shapeliness of the lower superstructure. If the shirts are accented, the designs will always present a Western motif. Southwestern Indian designs are popular.

The shirt will usually be capped by a pair of Top Guns below tailor-made Stetsons. The overall effect, for the girls anyway, is stunning.

The first rodeo that I can recall attending was in Memphis, Tennessee, when I was a young boy. Those memories have fairly-well faded over time, but I still recall the Ellensburg, Washington, rodeo.

I was 19 at the time and in the Air Force. A group of us jointly bought an ancient 1933 Plymouth 4-door sedan with a stick shift for $90.00 and drove to Ellensburg at every opportunity. Two things drew us. One was a women’s college where we used to hang around with Washington state girls whose cheeks reminded me of blooming milky-pink apple blossoms. Thankfully there were enough girls to spill over to a -4 like me (or was it that chic Plymouth?)

The second thing that brought us to Ellensburg was the annual Ellensburg Rodeo. The venue was beautiful, set against a backdrop of the Yakima Mountains. Here, I first learned about barrel racers and skin-tight Levis. Those girls…well…what can I say.

I’ve lived in San Francisco and at the time it had its cosmopolitan charm. But it was colder than hell and overcast most of the time. I often looked forward to a drive across the Golden Gate Bridge for some bone-warming sunshine.

I wonder now why anyone would prefer to exist in a smoke-filled bar getting drunker than a skunk and waking with a hangover from hell when beyond SF’s boundaries, a whole world of sunshine and beautiful women are waiting in thousands of places of encounter. And they’re sober, too.

Well, the older we get, the more pristine the girls were.

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Michelle Wie carded 12 over on her Saturday round to wind up with an 84 for the day.

She scored four double-bogeys, five bogies, and one birdie, finally ending the day in 69th place.

Her Saturday’s 12-over followed a one under round on Friday, her first sub-par effort since she last played the Evian in 2006.

Her play on Friday brought her in below the cut line and she will be around for the final round on Sunday barring any unforeseen circumstances.

San Leandro girl Pat Hurst was nowhere to be found on the leaderboard.

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  • Michelle Wie shot a 1-under 71 in the second round of the women’s Evian Masters in France, her first sub-par round since last year. The Bay Area’s Pat Hurst wasn’t named among the second round leaders. Maybe she hasn’t finished her round yet.
  • Gene for itching found. That explains the spate of mayoral sexcapades, I guess. Hell, one excuse is good as another.
  • British study says marijuana use may lead to psychosis. I kinda always thought it led to high political office. Maybe psychosis is an intermediate stop.
  • Astronauts reportedly flying drunk. Maybe it isn’t the booze but Houston’s air. Lots of noxious fumes all over East Texas from refineries and other assorted chemical plants.
  • Nicole Ritchie reportedly pleads guilty, gets 90 hours in jail. Take a clue from her, Lindsay.

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