My Personality

I tried Facebook’s My Personality application today. Actually, it isn’t a Facebook application but a third-party program.

The app says the personality test was constructed by a team of professional psychologists. I tried five times to take the test but each time I clicked the test page, the program flickered and labored mightily and then returned me to the same page.

After the 5th try, I spotted a little tiny box in the right-hand corner with directions informing me to check the box if I wanted to have my personality analyzed by pros. By that time, I was a raving lunatic.

Well, I checked the little box, worked through the test, and the results pleased me greatly. I rated 50% on every single personality element.

That’s amazing. I’ve taken tests administered and interpreted by a UC psychology instructor. He informed me that I ought to pack for a trip to Napa. Now, Facebook’s proxy informs me I’ve made a startling recovery.

I’d read that people with emotional and psychological issues have a 50-50 chance of improving whether they seeks treatment from a professional or not. My experience proves the theory.

At any rate, none of this explains why I scored a 50 on every single element on Facebook’s Proxy’s test. You’d think one of them would have been 51 or 49 or something.

I wonder if my answers could have affected the results. I checked Neither Accurate nor Inaccurate to every question.

Well, that’s the way real life really is. Sometimes we like poetry sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we like to let our imaginations run wild on all sorts of fantasies, sometimes we don’t. It all depends. Life is just that way.

So, remember, if you’ve taken Facebook’s Proxy’s My Personality test and scored, say, 90 on fantasies, you might think about packing your own bag and hitchhiking to Napa. There’s a strong chance you need a pro to tell you how to answer psychological test questions.

Technorati Tags: Napa,Facebook,Personality

Resurrection

I thought Don Imus was dead. If he isn’t, he sure looks like it.

When I watched him on television a couple of days ago ’splainin’ his comment about the long rap sheet of Adam “Pacman” Jones, I would have sworn that I was watching a set of empty clothes with a mop sticking out of the shirt collar. And for emphasis, someone had stuck a Stetson on top of it.

I know that’s coarse, and I know I’m probably exposing my age bias and I apologize if my words offend anyone. But I swear, that’s what I thought, and I was always taught to tell the truth. Speaking the truth is an inalienable right under the Constitution of the United States of America. Isn’t it?

Well, that depends. If your name is Charlie Black (McCain’s high powered campaign advisor) and you say outright that a terrorist arrack on America would benefit McCaint, then your career may be in jeopardy. Even though a terrorist attack would definitely aid McCain’s election bid, shush now, Charlie, you aren’t supposed to say so out loud.

So the truth is relative and situational, and now Don Imus in his characteristically convoluted manner of talking without moving his lips and later ’splainin’ his mumbles, is in hot water for suggesting that Blacks are at a high risk of arrest on general principles in some parts of the country.

What’s going to happen to Don this time around? He was fired from one radio station for referring to a girls’ basketball team as “nappy headed ho’s.” His latest faux mumble seems tame compared to that one.

Meanwhile the Talking Pinheads will monopolize valuable air time shouting and screaming and hollering at each other while news of note is unreported or minimized.

I want to know the salacious details of Christie Brinkley’s impending divorce trial.

Late Breaker. Don won’t be fired. He’s safe for the time being.

Technorati Tags: Don Imus,Charlie Black,John McCain

It Ain’t Tulsa Time

You think the Bay Area has traffic woes? Heck, you haven’t lived. For the worst traffic in the nation, you’ll need to hop on a 727 out of SFO and land in…you never guessed it…the original, the genuine, the one and only. Ta da!

The Paradise of the Pacific.

That’s right. Blue Hawaii, land of blue skies, scooting cumuli, rainbows, swaying hula maidens, and Elvis crooning The Hawaiian Wedding song as you loll on a beach with a tall, cool Mai Tai.

The image might work if you spend a few days in a luxury resort on Maui or the Kona Coast, pampered by tan, healthy hot bods.

But if you try Honolulu, you may be in for a shock. This is a city recently ranked the Number One spot in the nation for gridlock at the morning and afternoon rush hours by INRIX in its recent National Traffic Scorecard.

In fact, Honolulu beat out Los Angeles, Bridgeport Conn., San Francisco, and New York City for top honors.

Oddly, Honolulu ranked 38th of the Most Congested metropolitan areas. Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, Washington D.C., Dallas-Fort Worth, and San Francisco held the top five spots.

How does Honolulu, Number38 in terms of traffic congestion, rank Number 1 in work hour gridlock? The answer lies in a lack of adequate traffic thoroughfares. Oahu is just too small and too cramped for the construction of more roads.

I can testify to the accuracy of INRIX’’s gridlock data. For three years, I left my home in a nice bedroom community about 15 miles from downtown Honolulu where I worked, arriving about an hour and a half later.

That is, if traffic was “normal.” If a minor mishap occurred along the way, the time could easily stretch to 2-3 hours. By the time I sat down at my desk, my face would be red, my heart racing, and my stomach gurgling.

The real problem wasn’t the entire fifteen miles of my commute. The first half was quick and easy. The last half was murder. Central Oahu has two freeways that merge near a community college. Suddenly eight lanes become four lanes.

That’s only the beginning. The narrowing process occurs a couple of more time, until the total number of lanes available becomes three. I mean, you are talking about more cars contending for a few lanes than you ever dreamed about.

A friend once observed, “If all of the people in these cars were suddenly in homes, we’d have a housing shortage.” He probably figured that folks did double duty, sleeping and eating at home in shifts.

So, my message is this. All of you Bay Areans who whine about 101-N and the Maze, relax. You never had it so good.

Technorati Tags: Traffic,Honolulu,Maui,Kona Coast,Elvis Presley,San Francisco

Addiction is Addicting

Without conscious awareness, I’ve developed an addictive habit. I may need a 12-step program to break it, but that’s something to think about later. For the time being, I’m loving it.

What is my addictive habit?

I am reading e-mails from my relatives.

For years, I clicked Delete when a recognizable name materialized in my inbox. The turning point came one day with a message “The sender requests a return receipt.”

What could I do. This was a close cousin. If I didn’t open the damned e-mail, I ran the risk of a phone call in the middle of the night.

So, I opened the message and found a funny joke that I don’t remember now except to say that it was one of those scatological, roll-in-the-dirt, whoop and holler eighth grade anecdotes. The damned thing was still effective after all of these years. So much for adult male social evolution.

Making a short story longer that it ought to be for no reason except to fill space on TGIF-Day, some of the emails from this and other sources were often more vituperative than funny. Many had a mean quality about them, demeaning and insulting to various groups, Blacks, Asians, Gays, Democrats, Californians, San Franciscans, you name it.

Somehow, the individuals who sent me these e-mails knew I was a Californian and didn’t take kindly to Red Neck humor. Nonetheless, their output continued, even doubled.

I finally managed to construct a rationale for opening their e-mails. I would use them as a gauge of the sense of a broader segment of the population in various parts of the country on a variety of political matters. I would become my own poll taker.

However, could I accept my sources as representative of a larger group? You betcha. Using my own steady flow of messages from a geographically and demographically diverse set of relatives, I manage quite well, thank you, when it comes to predicting political outcomes in some areas of the country.

For example, I’m predicting right now that John McWayne will do well in Arkansas, Texas, Colorado, Arizona, Maryland, and most of the Southern states except Mississippi.

In Colorado, Barack will carry Boulder and that’s about it. And in Maryland, he should easily take Baltimore. His influence in rural Maryland, a rather conservative part of the state, is problematic.

Barack will also handily carry the West Coast and perhaps Montana, although that remains to be seen.

Several other states are also iffy. We’ll have to wait and see.

Okay, this is an example of converting an addiction into a valuable political and social function. Works for me.

Technorati Tags: Addictive Behavior,Relatives,E-Mails,Predictions

Bay Area Best Place to Raise a Family

I’ve always been a lover of lists, stuff like The 100 Sexiest Jobs in Elko NV, Top Five Hunks in the History of Human Civilization, and The 100 Best Places to Raise a Family.

The latter is a real list put together by the Today Show’s Best Life editors from a plethora of sources such as the U.S. Census Bureau, the FBI, and the National Center for Educational Statistics among others.

Using these data and more, the editors ranked and rated the desirability of cities based on the congeniality of a city toward the safety, health, and education of its youth.

The thing that strikes me positively about this particular list is the large number of California cities on it.

Based on my unofficial and hopefully accurate summary, Cal had 22, or 22% of the nationwide total. No other state came close to that proportion.

Moreover, 11 of the 22 are located in the Bay Area, a number still higher than the number for any other single state. If that isn’t commendable, I don’t know what is.

However, I have serious reservations about the inclusion of some of them.

Richmond, for example, came in at Number 73, high but still on the list. I’m familiar with the city and the surrounding area, which causes me to wonder about the family friendliness of a city that has become a gang and murder center fully worth the extra gas it takes to circle the town when heading to Tahoe.

Oakland at Number 84 is another city I would think seriously about if I were raising children. The murder rate in Oakland is astronomical and the schools leave much to be desired. There may be pockets of tranquility within the city limits, but even that is problematic as a gauge of family togetherness.

One other city, San Francisco at Number 67, made my seriously doubt list. SF is a great place for fun and games, but is it a commendable spot to raise kids in? There are many good neighborhoods, but the question in my mind relates to proximity. Can a parent in one of SF’s garden spots rest comfortably knowing that their adolescent darlings can jump on a bus and ride to the center of the action the minute they’re out of parental sight.

The remainder of the Bay Area cities on the cut include some that seem quite nice. Santa Rosa at Number 10 would be my personal choice. And I always considered Number 64 Concord a real nice spot.

The balance includes the South Bay Area 22, Fremont 38, Berkeley 40, Fairfield 50, Antioch 51, and Hayward 93.

Worth mentioning, not a single California city made the list of the 10 Worst Places to Raise a Family (find this list below the Top 100).

I’m surprised that Davis didn’t make the California state-wide cut. It was Number 3 on the 5 Friendliest Cities in America.

Technorati Tags: Bay Area,Oakland,Richmond,San Francisco,Berkeley,Santa Rosa,Concord

Civil Rights for Me but Not for Thee

We know that a majority of the California State Supreme Court and probably a substantial percentage of California’s residents support the legalization of marriages between same-sex partners.

But how do the three presidential candidates stand on the issue?

Each one has said in the past that the issue is one for the citizens of each individual state to determine.

If a marriage between same-sex coulees is a civil right, and most Americans accept it as such, the states’ rights position of the candidates is a cop-out. It accepts a denial of civil rights to some but not all Americans, depending on one’s residence.

The American concept of civil rights and equality under the  law is no longer a matter of moral and constitutional principle. It’s an invisible line in the sand. Live in Arizona but can’t get married to a partner of your choice? Step across the border and, abracadabra, you’ve got civil rights. How’s that for magical transformation? “Beam me over, Scotty.”

Historically, states’ rights has been used to retard the social and economic progress of a variety of ethnic groups. The most prominent example is the legal maintenance of separate but equal facilities for Blacks and Whites.

Why, then, do Barack and Hillary fall back on states’ rights regarding the same-sex marriage issue? Appealing to states’ rights is nothing more than a strategy of avoidance.

It’s a safe approach, however. By arguing that “the people” should decide, Barack and Hillary neatly distance themselves from controversy. What is more fair and reasonable than permitting the people to decide their own destiny?

At it’s heart, however, the strategy hides a rather disturbing outcome. Some states will approve same-sex marriages while others will not. Rev up the time machine, H.G. Nineteenth century here we come.

Is that the effect Hil and Barack want? Let’s hope not. After all, Democrats are supposed to support social progress not retard it.

Technorati Tags: Same Sex Marriage,Barack Obama,Hillary Clinton,John McCain,California Supreme Court,States’ Rights

Take Me Home Country Roads

…West Virginia, Mountain Mama…

Even John Denver couldn’t take Hillary home now. She’s expected to win WV’s primary this coming Tuesday, May 13, and although some Talking Pin Heads estimate her margin of victory at around 30%, she’s already a day late and a dollar short.

In my judgement, she’s in her current state of rapid decline because she is affiliated with Bill Clinton. He was popular and well liked once but he’s old stuff now, a part of the Establishment ever since the Republicans began their own run of sex scandals and had to admit that, yes, Republicans actually engage in sex, a revolutionary development.

Now, a humongous slice of the American population today is looking for a degree of political enlightenment that isn’t likely to occur with her and Bill in the Oval Office. Change is in the air, but the Clintons haven’t yet inhaled deeply enough to clear their political lungs.

It’s quite accurate and fair to argue that I once presented a different analysis. I said that Barack was an unknown element and Americans are afraid of real change when you get right down to it. But that was before John Boy became the so-called presumptive Republican nominee and began to talk about colonizing the Middle East.

With John as Commander in chief, the Sun Will Never Set on the Rovian Empire. Americans don’t like change, true, but they want a return to the 19th Century even less. Suddenly, Americans figure, maybe Barack isn’t so scary after all.

Put that together with the lovey dovey platitudes exchanged between the John and Billery camps and many people have come to believe that she is auditioning for the role of the Oldest Living Confederate Widow.

So, given Barack’s lead in just about any marker you care to name, why is Hillary bothering with West Virginia? Even if she wins handily, as the Talking Pinheads predict, her standing in the primary will remain largely unchanged from a practical standpoint.

But we all know that emotion not logic is the name of the psychological game of politics. Tiny and seemingly insignificant matters can make or break kings and presidents. Hope springs eternal.

I hope I haven’t insulted the state of West Virginia and its citizens by counting the state itself as politically insignificant in terms of Hillary’s race for the Democratic presidential nominee. Far from it.

But most Americans rarely read or hear about WV in the corporate media unless a story appears on the sports page. The WV Mountaineers are a perennial football powerhouse. I happen to know a lot about the Mountaineers and West Virginia through the simple process of osmosis. I was once within the borders of the state for about an hour. It happened this way.

As our soon-to-be son in law drove us into the town of Cumberland, Maryland to meet his parents, I looked up and spotted a World War II B-17 coming in for a landing somewhere.

Later we learned that a traveling exhibition of old aircraft was at the Cumberland Airport, which happened to be located across the state line in West Virginia. We spent a couple of hours wandering among the planes, and that’s the sum total of my on-the-ground experience in West Virginia.

But there’s more osmosis. When our son-in-law was a student at WVU, he was a member of the Drum Line and is still an avid Mountaineer. His father also graduated from WVU, and his grandfather lived in Morgantown most of his life.

Put all of this together and I feel like an honorary Mountaineer. I want a Mountaineer cap or tee shirt or some scrap to show my allegiance. Our daughter, however, refuses to send me anything.

In the manner of daughters everywhere, she looks out for our well-being.

“Yellow is too bright for you, Dad. It isn’t your color.”

Mountaineer colors are actually Blue and Gold, but I’ve learned one thing about daughters. When they are looking out for our well being, they can be rather intractable.

Now, if Chelsea would just tell Hillary she doesn’t look good in ruddy red embarrassment. Tell her, Chelsea, so we can get on with returning John Boy to Spencer’s Mountain.

Did You Know?
The first known Mother’s Day celebration in America occurred in May of 1907 or 1908 in Grafton, West Virginia. President Woodrow Wilson made Mother’s Day a national holiday in 1914.

Technorati Tags: West Virginia,Mountaineers,Hillary Clinton,Barack Obama