In case you haven’t noticed, some Repugnicant candidates for President have developed a two-pronged strategy for winning the Confederacy.
It’s called Grits and Vaginas. Today, I will talk about Grits. Tomorrow, I will report on the Vagina strategy.
Keep in mind that I do not use the word Vagina in jest or to trivialize women. Repubnicants are actually using women’s female parts to win elections.
But, first, Grits.
The direct denotation of the word Grits “…is a dish of coarsely ground corn kernels boiled with water or milk.”
Grits is a popular dish in the CSA and in many other areas of the country. And I fully admit without reservation or coercion that I love grits.
In fact, I will take grits over another popular Southern dish meant to make outsiders gag, namely scrambled eggs and brains.
But grits is more than grits. It’s a symbol the way a flag is a symbol. Grits is a symbol of the South, ranking right up there with the Confederate flag.
When people eat grits, they are telling the world, “I am a Rebel. The South shall rise again.”
Grits ain’t just grits. Grits is the Real America.
That’s why politicians campaigning in the South eat grits. Or, if they don’t eat them, they talk about them.
Case in point, Mitt Romney, one of the oddest Repubnicant candidates in recent memory.
The minute he flew across Ole Man Ribber in his private jet sipping a blue martini and munching pate, he said, “I know grits. I love grits.”
Whether grits will be enough to carry him to victory in Mississippi and other parts of the South remains to be seen as of this writing. But one thing is clear.
Mitt has a lot of guts. Any man who can say to a crowd in Michigan, “The tree are the right height,” and then throw in grits in Mississippi would make a hell of a stand up comedian.
OK, bartender, Grits and Bourbon for all.
I like grits and being female, I’m quite terribly fond of my vagina. It’s done right by me.
Grits is up there with chicken friend steak as being a Food of the South. It’s among the (few) things I miss about Texas. For those of you unfamiliar with grits, it’s similar in taste and texture to Cream of Wheat, only tasting more of corn than wheat.
This Song of the South being sung by Romney is his last great effort to appear less like a Scary Mormon from the North and more like someone who can eat the foods and engage in the bigotry like a “true” Southerner.
Right on, Rachel. Your sense of humor is apropos. These Repugnicant politicians are like the Three Stooges. In fact, Moe would make a better candidate than any of current crop of candidates. Thanks for your insight. rs
When all the bedroom doors are locked tightly these Repugnicants can commence to eat their grits… with cheese, shrimp or even caviar !
Rachel, my vagina has served me well too and I certainly do not need a bunch of middle aged men intruding there.
It takes a man with “true grit” to stand up for women’s rights ! Great post !
Thank you, Beverly Anna. Both your pointed and hidden sense of humor is always on the mark. My humor seems to come from others, such as you and Rachel. Thanks again. rs