In case you haven’t noticed, some Repugnicant candidates for President have developed a two-pronged strategy for winning the Confederacy.
It’s called Grits and Vaginas. Today, I will talk about Grits. Tomorrow, I will report on the Vagina strategy.
Keep in mind that I do not use the word Vagina in jest or to trivialize women. Repubnicants are actually using women’s female parts to win elections.
But, first, Grits.
The direct denotation of the word Grits “…is a dish of coarsely ground corn kernels boiled with water or milk.”
Grits is a popular dish in the CSA and in many other areas of the country. And I fully admit without reservation or coercion that I love grits.
In fact, I will take grits over another popular Southern dish meant to make outsiders gag, namely scrambled eggs and brains.
But grits is more than grits. It’s a symbol the way a flag is a symbol. Grits is a symbol of the South, ranking right up there with the Confederate flag.
When people eat grits, they are telling the world, “I am a Rebel. The South shall rise again.”
Grits ain’t just grits. Grits is the Real America.
That’s why politicians campaigning in the South eat grits. Or, if they don’t eat them, they talk about them.
Case in point, Mitt Romney, one of the oddest Repubnicant candidates in recent memory.
The minute he flew across Ole Man Ribber in his private jet sipping a blue martini and munching pate, he said, “I know grits. I love grits.”
Whether grits will be enough to carry him to victory in Mississippi and other parts of the South remains to be seen as of this writing. But one thing is clear.
Mitt has a lot of guts. Any man who can say to a crowd in Michigan, “The tree are the right height,” and then throw in grits in Mississippi would make a hell of a stand up comedian.
OK, bartender, Grits and Bourbon for all.